Articles
Why Our Children Do Not Remain Faithful to the Lord
Why Our Children Do Not Remain Faithful to the Lord
Ever since the increase in the number of children who have become unfaithful to the Lord, churches have done whatever they could (whether right or wrong) to keep the children faithful, including anything from Sunday school (Bible classes for all ages), teenage devotions, vacation Bible school, baseball and basketball teams, afterschool daycare and programs, Wednesday night game nights mixed with a little bit of teaching about Jesus, “children’s church” on Sundays, etc. The list of programs adopted is endless because the ideas to keep them faithful are constantly evolving.
However, we must recognize that children do not leave the Lord because of what churches are doing or not doing. Instead, children leave the Lord because of what their parents have done or not done. This is not a popular statement; however, it is necessary to understand this principle so we can take the steps needed to understand the real problem and adopt the real solutions. When we exclaim that the church needs to do more or that the church does not do enough, we are trying to shift the blame away from ourselves– the parents. Yet, it is exactly the parents whom God will hold accountable!
Nowhere in Scripture is the church instructed to raise children or teach them about obedience to God. God did not tell, show or imply that the church is to build playgrounds, fun centers, sports fields, etc. to bribe our children into staying faithful, nor did He instruct churches to have multiple Bible classes, children’s devotions at the member’s homes, etc.
Instead, the Old Testament instructed parents, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deut. 6.5-9, ESV) and in the New Testament teaches us, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6.4, ESV).
Simply put, while it is true that children learn and grow with the church’s help, it was never the church’s sole responsibility to instruct and guide them. However, what do we always hear from parents who suffer from disobedient children? “We took our son to church every week, what happened?” “We always made sure she was at Bible class. Where could we have gone wrong?” “We need to come up with new church programs to help our children.”
This author has heard countless times from brethren that “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22.6, ESV) is not a true statement. But such a statement implicitly denies the inspiration of Solomon. One might as well throw out the entire book of Proverbs.
Obviously, Solomon is speaking in general terms. However, the principle and the point are absolutely true. How much time, energy, and effort we put into training our children will in many cases determine the course of their very lives.
Though some argue that the above verse is wrong, seldom does this writer hear these same people say, “As parents, we made bad decisions. We did not train our children the way we ought to have.” “We allowed our children to make friends of the world.” “We overlooked God’s wisdom in how to influence their choice of friends, their respect for authority, their involvement in sinful pleasures, etc.” “We didn’t instruct them on the dangers of sexual immorality and we cringed each time the preacher preached on sexual immorality, dancing, pornography, etc. We now know why our children ended up pregnant or with an STD.” “Why did we allow them to go to parties and dances and hang out with worldly kids? We should have known from our own experience as well as from Scripture that the ways of this world would pull them in and cause them to develop a hardened heart toward God.” “We allowed our children to watch and listen to whatever was on television. We should have known that those things were teaching them sinful ways.” “We should have known that allowing our children to have full access to the internet and television, etc. could be a disaster.” “We should have spent more time studying and praying as a family. We were so focused on sports and entertainment that we neglected to put God first in their lives.” “We were so focused on their school work and sports and after school activities that we never made them do their Bible lessons, we did not see what we were doing at the time, but now we know.” “The reason our child is not faithful today is not because the church did not do enough; it is because we did not do enough.” “We should not have worried so much about giving our children the best education and sending them to the best schools. We should have been worried about Satan and his ways and what we could do to protect our children. Now we have children with fruitful careers but with no love of God. If only we had spent more time training them in God’s word than in what they wanted to be when they grew up. We would rather have children in heaven, than children with power and riches and no hope of heaven.”
Some children and their parents blame the church when they fall away. “The eldership mistreated me.” “The preacher offended me.” “Some members got in my business.” “The church is not accepting of my opinions and views.” “The church is not loving enough.” The list of excuses for leaving the Lord is endless. While there may be some cases where members may have done something unloving, one’s unloving attitude does not justify another’s disobedience – there’s always an underlying issue lurking in the background. Then we must ask, “Did the parents train their children in the Lord’s ways?” Simply put, a child trained to love and obey God will not be moved by “unloving brethren”. Additionally, in most cases, the church is just trying to help the unruly child but because of the love of this world developed by the non-training of the parents, the child finally finds the excuse needed to have a way out.
For parents who have lost children to the world, you have one single job: to do everything in your power to bring them back. For parents raising children, you have one single job: to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” and to “train up a child in the way he should go”. Our children will certainly see the world around them as pleasurable and fun and may try to fight any degree of our training, but we must press forward and not give up. Beloved brethren, it is time we focus more on putting God first in our lives and the lives of our children. It is better to stand before God knowing that we did all we could to keep them from loving this present world than to stand before Him realizing we simply did not do enough.
Please note that all children are expected by God to obey Him regardless of whether the parents were diligent in their training. Sometimes, despite all that godly parents might do, our children simply allow themselves to be influenced by this sinful world. Overall, as already noted, our decisions as parents can help or destroy the course of their lives. BG
